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Are you really the one who is leading your life?

Psychotherapy

Have you ever noticed the similarities, or on the contrary, the total opposition that we can have with our parents? Have you often been told that you look so much like someone in your family, even though you never knew them? Did you ever realize that you had acted in the same way as one of them or in a way that was totally opposed to your whole family?

 

Children are particularly suggestible. They learn a lot and do the best that they can to deal with the life that they have. In the company of their parents or tutors they learn to behave, integrate values, beliefs and develop their skills. They are very strongly hypnotized by the people who are the most important to them and by family ties. A child can capture unconscious beliefs and desires and has great creativity.

 

Like a plant, they will grow up formed by the care given to them. They will integrate knowledge and develop their unconscious mind on the path of life through the past experiences of parents, or even grandparents and above all will integrate a Self-Image. They need an environment that is positive for their development and, above all, a safe and loving environment. In a healthy environment children will naturally integrate these parameters. Over time they will realize that some parameters do not suit them because, after all, the times have changed and they are real individuals after all who may have other aspirations or needs than have been nourished for them. With the foundation of their past they will build their lives their own way. This is called growing-up, gaining in maturity.

 

In a hostile environment they may choose to use their creativity to get by. Some of these choices will be real life forces, others will be disabilities. In a violent environment, as a child, you may find it interesting to dream so as not to be too present at the most violent time. Dreaming is a way of dissociating oneself from reality.

 

Violence may also be integrated, which will be experienced as a malicious presence in oneself (e. g. the inner critic). This can allow us to be stronger in our environment, more acceptable, as the child of an abusive parent, with the hope of being loved more by the violent tutor, but there will be a conflict between the true Self and the introjected violence.

 

When we have very giving parents we can also integrate this way of living, but sometimes to the detriment of ourselves, because kindness can only be lived well if we are also being kind to ourselves. Parents can also teach us this.

 

Thus, a neurotic (and therefore normal) psychological structure can develop different, even paradoxical, parts of oneself (for example, the energetic and the lazy self). Each part was born at a different age under the influence of their close environment. However, in this case, the way of living is guided by our past life and is not necessarily the expression of our true Self and does not really allow us to be oneself and happy to be so.

Then there is our place in the family.Children's deep desire is to live in harmony, love and security. So they need the family to be so. If it is not so (in relation to the child's needs) they may unconsciously decide to fulfill the role that will bring balance to their family. Thus, we can have "clown" children in a sad family, "responsible" (or parentalized) children in a family that does not take its responsibilities, "strong" children in a family considered weak for the child in question.

 

This will create unconscious images (sensations, visual images, memories, sounds, behavior patterns, representations). When we open the Therapist's door, we arrive with all this luggage and it is not always easy to change our way of life because we can even integrate it as our true Self. We like what is known, even if it doesn't always do us good.

 

The Therapist is there to reach out to you and find a way with you to live differently and be even more yourself, happier, more fulfilled and to help you to change and keep a connection with the people of your choice if it is good for you.

At that moment you may start a new journey towards yourself. The only obstacles could be low motivation, lack of imagination, lack of ease with the Therapist because we can alter what is not really us if we deeply desire it. It requires serious work, to agree to change what is known to us and to open up to much more. Hypnosis and brief therapies are based on recent research in psychotherapy and are a means of accompanying you towards your own happiness. Working with the unconscious mind will allow us to develop our unconscious learning. Thus, unconscious representations can evolve and emotional freedom appear.

 

It's up to you now and I would be happy to discuss this with you....


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